Do you know that crappy, almost tummy-cringing feeling of “I am not good enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough, not sassy enough, not sexy enough, not successful enough, not social enough, not deep enough?” Bla, Bla, Bla…
I could go on and on with this list of “not enough”, but I think you get the point, AND you get the feeling.
I bet you do, because I do. I’ve been there myself.
In fact, I believe even the most beautiful women on the planet, the celebrities and the Miss Worlds, know these feelings.
And while all of us feel this way at some points in our life (it’s normal!!), do you know that indulging too long in these feelings of, “I am not good enough,” are actually harming your chances of attracting your soulmate into your life?
That not only do they bring you days of self-loathing, self-detesting and misery, but they are also sub-consciously pushing away a quality man from finding you?
How, you ask?
Well, this is because the universe reflects back to you the thoughts in your own head, in the form of experiences and interactions.
In other words, if you find that men are rejecting you, you are at some deep sub-conscious level rejecting yourself…
If you find that men don’t want anything serious with you, at some deep sub-conscious level you don’t think you are “relationship material” and deserve a deep connection with a man…
If you find men treating you poorly and neglecting you, at some deep level you are treating yourself poorly and neglecting yourself…
If you think and feel that you aren’t good enough for a great man, the man will actually believe that you aren’t good enough either…
So what does this mean?
This means that your thoughts create your life’s realities, and, every moment, what you’re thinking to be true about yourself is exactly what you’re manifesting in life, dating and relationships.
So this means that, if you want to change your love life, you have to start by shifting yourself and your inner world of thoughts about yourself, FIRST!
How Do You Help Yourself Shift Your Thoughts When You Feel Not Good Enough?
One of my favourite tools (I like to call it my Flip Tool, and I discuss it in greater detail in my Attract Your Soulmate program) is feeding ourselves with positive affirmations.
Positive affirmations are repetitions of good things about yourself, or positive interpretations about a situation, that you keep repeating to yourself till it becomes you default position.
Here’s how you do it:
Step 1: Catch The Negative Chatter In Your Head The Moment It Comes Up.
So many of us are so much in the habit of beating ourselves up, that we don’t even realize when we’re doing it.
The first step is all about becoming aware of any such nasty thoughts, the moment they arise in our heads. Examples of these thoughts look like: “I am not good enough. I’m not pretty enough. I am not capable enough.”
Step 2: Stop It In Its Tracks.
As you become extremely aware of your thoughts, you can instantly recognize when you are bashing yourself, and you can stop it dead in the tracks.
Just STOP and take a deep breath. Let the negativity go, let it slide off your body and soul, like the rain drops on a raincoat.
Step 3: Flip It – Say Something Good About Yourself In That Very Moment.
Now, feed yourself with a positive affirmation, something good about yourself.
For instance, if you are telling yourself in your head, “I am ugly,” I want you to say to yourself, “I am beautiful, just the way I am.”
If your negative though it, “Men don’t find me attractive”, tell yourself instead: “Men find me immensely attractive!”
If you’re hearing yourself say “I never get it right”, change it into “I am learning and I am getting it right”.
This is how the Flip Tool works – by helping you transform your inner dialogue into something that builds you up instead of tearing yourself down.
If you find yourself resisting to a positive affirmation about yourself, I understand. You have wired your system to beat yourself up and it won’t go away in a day’s time.
This is where you inner work lies, and where all the exercises and guidance in the Attract Your Soulmate program would be very helpful to you.
Step 4: Make Positive Affirmations A Habit.
Affirmations will only give you results when you do them on a repeated basis. Besides using the Flip Tool in the moment whenever you catch a negative thought creeping up in your head, it helps tremendously to create a little ritual in which you purposefully feed yourself with positive thoughts.
So try this:
No matter how a day looks for you, make sure you take out 5 minutes in the morning to say something good about yourself in the mirror, every single day.
Repeat those sentences to yourself before you go to bed at night. You can also do this 5 to 6 times a day if you feel the need to.
Overtime, what this will do is convert your self-beating inner voice to a self-compassionate inner voice, which will transform the vibe you send out into your world.
Everything is energy, and if you are coming from a good place inside of yourself, men will feel it and be drawn to your goddess-ness!
If you haven’t got a compliment in the day so far, and even if I haven’t met you or spoken with you personally yet, let me be the first one to tell you today:
“Honey, you ARE beautiful. You are worthy of attracting a great man’s love, just by being who you are.”
Let me know how this goes for you! And for much more self-work and tools and techniques to Flip those nasty negatives into positives, check out my advanced audio program, Attract Your Soulmate!
To loving yourself,
Sami has been seen on The Daily Mail, The Elephant Journal, The Natural Health Magazine, and The Huffington Post.