Today I know that every man I’ve ever dated, been close to or had a relationship with, had a message for me for my own personal growth. Of course, back then I couldn’t see it!
I wasn’t curious enough. I wasn’t open enough …
I was the “smart” girl – the I-Know-It-All, the one who thought she had it all together.
And every time a relationship failed, I felt so convinced that I had tried everything possible to save it. I cursed my bad luck, blamed it on fate, and sometimes on the men.
From one man to the next …
Never learning. Never stopping. Never introspecting. Never reflecting.
Never asking why.
And then making those same mistakes, again and again and again and again. Till of course, you know my story how I turned it around for me.
So why are we so resistant to learning? Why are we so resistant to even thinking, even considering the possibility that may be there is something “more” to learn here in the experience?
That may be “we” could have done something differently?
That may be it is “us” and not the man? That we may be we don’t know the complete truth yet?
And my answer to this question is simple:
It is very easy to blame something / someone external – the circumstances, the situation, the family, the man, destiny, the “timing” – everything!
But it is very difficult to look inside one’s self!
Self work is very hard work! And we just don’t want to do it. And that’s why so many of us just outrightly “avoid it.” We find something outside of us to blame and get done with it and move on to the next man, only to repeat our past faulty behaviours and patterns and get the same end results.
So here’s what I want you to start doing instead:
Become an explorer of your love experiences. Get in touch with your feelings and notice how you feel in the presence of one man vs. another, and what messages are these men giving to you on a deeper level.
Are they telling you to back off? Are they telling you that you are overwhelming them with your energy? Are they telling you that they feel pressured by your “expectations?” Are they telling you that they are not ready for the commitment you want no matter how much you push them for it?
People are giving us signals all the time, if only we care to read. So get curious about you, about your own experiences! Find the message and learn from it. And then believe that there is another “better” way to do things, that works more effectively than what you have been doing so far! One that can get you the results you want. And then do it – do what works!
To help you reconnect with your intuition and get you started on your journey of healing and finding yourself and love, listen to my Diva In Life, Diva In Love affirmations!
Here’s to having all you want,
Sami has been seen on The Daily Mail, The Elephant Journal, The Natural Health Magazine, and The Huffington Post.
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