Hi Divas, Sami here!
I repeatedly tell my clients that the first 3 months of dating a man are critical.
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Critical, because this is the time period during which rapid attraction building is taking place and where the man is essentially making up his mind about you and if he wants a future with you.
Believe it or not but in these first 12 weeks of knowing a man, the fundamentals of the relationship are decided. What you do during this phase of dating is what will go on to decide how the relationship will evolve and look in the future and whether or not it will at all progress forward.
It’s a bit like the first trimester of pregnancy – the most crucial time in the formation of a baby in the mother’s womb. It is during the first 12 weeks that all the major organs like the heart, liver and kidneys develop and where the risk of miscarriage or something going wrong with the pregnancy is the highest. Post these 12 weeks, doctors generally claim that pregnancies get stable with little risk to the fetus in the womb.
Relationships are like this too.
What a man fundamentally thinks of you, how he fundamentally experiences you and how weak or intense his attraction is for you is decided during this phase of dating.
If you have been leaning back (learn all about this powerful feminine energy tool in my Attract Your Soulmate audio program) and letting him initiate the contact in your relationship, you have sub-consciously laid the rules of the relationship for him without having long conversations about it. If he agrees to that kind of relationship dynamic with you and enjoys it, he will willingly carry on.
However, if you have been giving confused signals – you lean back but then you get afraid and initiate contact, then that’s exactly how he will process the relationship – confused and with weakened attraction towards you!
If you say something and then do something else, he will know that you’re not someone who sticks to her words and wouldn’t take you seriously enough!
In other words, the clearer your signals and your stance is for the man at the beginning of the relationship, the more heightened and robust his attraction will be towards you!
This means that the first 3 months are THE time for you to practice your feminine energy tools – honest talking, vulnerability and open heartedness, keeping your standards high and not bending them for any man who comes your way (“I like him, so I change my rules for him”), leaning back and letting him row the boat.
This is also the time when the hormones are the highest and the temptation to jump into bed the greatest!
While many women claim they can keep emotions and physical intimacy separate, I like to believe it is only a claim given that science has proven that women’s bodies secrete hormones that explicitly and emotionally attach her to the man she has slept with. I talk about this in greater detail in my video series, Date Like A Diva, but what I can say here is that the longer you wait for physical intimacy to happen (of course you can kiss and touch but what I am referring to here is proper sleeping with him), the more chances and space you give for the emotional intimacy to build in the man.
The bottom line of this message is that timing is important! Doing it right in the beginning of your dating does count! If you can be your soft, feminine self with a man, and yet be firm in the way you approach your relationships with men, you will have “got it.”
Do it right at the start if you want it to continue being on the right track in the future.
Let me know if you have any specific questions, in the comments below and I will be happy to answer them for you.
Sami has been seen on The Daily Mail, The Elephant Journal, The Natural Health Magazine, and The Huffington Post.
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