Have you ever found yourself pushed to the zone of a “good friend” by a man you wanted a relationship with?
Do men keep dating you but never step up to give you the commitment you want?
Has a man ever told you that he really likes you but he is not “feeling it” for you?
Do you feel tired and feel like giving up on finding love because it has happened to you so many times?
If you said yes to any of those questions, I know how hard that feels! I’ve been there many times myself.
I was a champion at attracting great men and then getting pushed to their friend zone.
I can recall being “so nice” to them, helping them with their problems and being at their beck and call whenever they needed me…
And still not ever being the girl they dated...
I even remember how I once sat with a guy “friend” at a party and felt miserable inside while he narrated to me stories of another “intriguing” woman who had caught his attention at university.
It felt plain horrible! I could not bear listening him praise another woman because I liked him so much and yet I did not have the strength to get up and walk away from it.
However, I am a different woman today. I have in my life the love we see in fairy tales and a wonderful husband who adores me day and night…
I fixed my situation through a lot of trial and error and I want to give you hope – that no matter how bad it feels right now, your situation can be fixed too !
And because I am here, you don’t have to waste all that time learning what I learnt through experimenting and making many mistakes.
Ok – so let’s get on with fixing this!
If you have been pushed into the friend zone by a guy you would like to have a romantic relationship with – I want you to do the following:
Step 1: Self-Exploration – Find Your Truth
I want you to find your truth. Are you certain this feels more than friendship to you?
Do you really want more from him?
I want you to search your true feelings for him and make sure you have absolute clarity about the situation.
You know for sure you want him.
Step 2: Acknowledge Your Truth
I want you to acknowledge to your own self your true feelings…
This is important because you have probably been stuffing them down for some time as you went along with being his friend even though it didn’t feel good.
I want you to stop resisting your own truth. I want you to embrace it.
Step 3: Practice Saying Your Truth Before A Mirror…
Now, I want you to start practicing saying your truth in front of a mirror in feeling messages.
It could look like –
“Hey! I really like you and it doesn’t feel good to be your friend. I feel I want more with you. I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but I also don’t want to pretend to be your friend. ”
It will feel VERY SCARY for you at first, expressing yourself with so much vulnerability.
We all live in a society where we are taught that emotions are a sign of weakness and how we must never share them.
And yet I want to promise you, this is the most powerful and authentic place for you to come from.
People with high self-esteem always say their truth… and if you have not been doing this, it might feel very uncomfortable for you at the start.
And that’s why I want you to take the baby step of practising it in front of a mirror.
Step 4: Now Say Your Truth To Him!
I want you to look this guy in the eye and say the same script to him.
And then I want you to wait for him to share with you his truth and I want you to BELIEVE him!
If he feels the remotest romantic feeling for you, this is the time he will share it with you.
Remember, by opening up your heart and not lying to him, you have given him the emotional space to communicate his real feelings for you.
However, if he says, he does not feel that way for you, I want you to believe him and I want you to STOP ALL CONTACT with him!
All vulnerability (expressing our innermost feelings to someone else) has to always be backed by self-love and real boundaries (what we will and what we will not tolerate when we are with a man).
As a woman with high self-esteem, you must accept his decision but you also must cut-off all contact with him because it is not serving you to be in a situation of false friendship.
No matter how hard it feels, I don’t want you to get caught up in trying to be his friend and hoping that you may change his feelings for you if you stick around long enough.
In fact, if there is any probability that his feelings for you can be changed, it can only happen when you act from a place of self-preservation, self-love and boundaries – in this case, not having a false friendly contact with a man you have romantic feelings for!
Men fall for quality women.
And by speaking your truth or refusing to have contact with a man that doesn´t return your feelings, you have given him two powerful signs of the kind of woman you are…
For more knowledge on how to appear as a high-value woman in dating, and how to combine vulnerability and boundaries in an irresistible way, check out my Date Like A Diva video training series!
Let me know how this goes for you and if I can help in anyway with your situation, feel free to get in touch.
Because you can have it all and all women deserve to be loved!
Sami has been seen on The Daily Mail, The Elephant Journal, The Natural Health Magazine, and The Huffington Post.
Latest posts by Sami Wunder
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